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Thoughts On...
Does It Count?
By Mary McSwain
I recently sat down with a young man who’s relatively new to our church. For those of you familiar with PLACE, let me give you an idea of who he is.
This young man is a C personality, with the Spiritual Gifts of Administration, Giving, and Serving. He is Realistic in his abilities and his demonstrated passions include Serving, Organizing, and Repairing. He is in the grading business, is his own boss, and serves alongside his fiance at a faith-based horse farm that works with troubled or challenged kids through a mentoring program they provide.
In other words, he is a task oriented personality with a heart to help people but would probably rather do it with his hands than his words. He has a good understanding of how things work and what needs to be done to get things done, but would rather operate behind the scenes.
To begin our coaching conversation, I asked him what his purpose was in going through PLACE and what he wanted to get out of our time together. He said he wanted to learn more about himself and grow as a person.
I went on to ask him about his experience of church, his story or testimony if you will, and how he got to our church. He briefly walked through it, but there was one statement in particular that stood out to me. When referencing his former church, that he’d grown up going to with his parents, he said when he left to come here he didn’t really feel tied to it.
When I asked him what might make him feel tied to our church, he openly admitted he didn’t really know. Immediately I felt like there was something there. I moved on and asked him what his role at the ranch involved. While not giving me too much detail, he mentioned that he hadn’t enjoyed the mentoring part and hadn’t done that in a while. Instead, a lot of the things he helped with were behind the scenes, projects and labor intensive type of jobs. He said, in his own way, that he wasn’t sure if that counted though.
We kept talking, but I kept those things in mind throughout our conversation. Later on, however, I circled back and asked him to elaborate on that question considering what “counted”. I asked:
“Do you question that because you’re not satisfied with what you’re doing now and are longing for more, or because you are satisfied with that but you aren’t sure if that’s okay?”
He said the second. He explained that he felt like what he was doing was indirectly serving because it was for a ministry, but it didn’t feel direct enough, or seem direct at least. He compared it to something like vacuuming the church. That is something that is needed, but is that way of serving enough, or should I be doing more.
It was then that we were really getting somewhere. Being a task oriented personality, who wants to use resources to serve a ministry or organization, and thrives in a realistic environment where he gets to use his hands – it sounded to me like he found something he enjoyed, but he wasn’t sure if that was okay or enough?
As our conversation continued, I learned there were some personal experiences in his past that I think caused some hurt and disenchantment with people, maybe even the church. Between those experiences with people and the things he was involved in now, we figured out that it wasn’t necessarily that he wanted to do more as much as he felt like he should do more. Honestly, it would have done him no good to convince him that he should do something more or something else in light of where he was in this season of his life. He had found a place he enjoyed serving, but was also working through some unresolved feelings toward people and the church (whether he realized that or not). Rather, I sought to encourage and validate him that using your hands absolutely counts in the kingdom.
During our conversation, I was reminded of 1 Thessalonians 4:11 and shared it with him. In this verse, Paul urges the Thessalonians:
“......to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you.”
It was then that I think the light bulb came on, that it was not only okay, but encouraged, in Scripture to work with your hands.
The question of how he could feel “tied” to this church was a whole other discussion. However, despite his past experiences influencing that desire, I think the validation that he received that he could one day tie himself to a church family by using his hands to serve behind the scenes may have planted a seed that the Lord can continue to water in his heart.
During our conversation, I was reminded in my own heart, that sometimes a person’s “place” in the church is not to serve the church, but to be served by the church. Simultaneously, I was also reminded of the principle in Scripture that you reap what you sow. The more he would sow, the more he would invest, in the right places, the more tied he would feel to the church. And perhaps, he would reap a better experience here than he has before.
Even with this in mind, my goal was not to change his desires but to validate him where he was, and plant seeds for where he one day could be. What he was doing at the farm counted. And his desire to serve behind the scenes with his hands counted.
What I hope he remembers, and what I hope you remember through his story, is that serving is never done in obscurity. Scripture tells us that in
“Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus”.
Whether it’s vacuuming the church, moving dirt to break ground on the church’s new property, or helping around a farm that serves kids and their families, it counts. It absolutely counts.
How do you equip people in your church or your small group to discover their spiritual gifts?
Discover Your Spiritual Gifts is a new resource that helps people identify & understand their gifts with video teaching, online assessments, discussion guides, devotionals, and even a database to keep track of the gifts God is bringing to your church.
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